Does what I do matter to others?

Weaving Wisdom Paths From The Five Books of Moses, Our Emotional Brain and Our Lives.

Seeking Wisdom: Does what I do matter to others?

Wisdom from Interpersonal Neurobiology (INPB): When we introspectively look into ourselves, we find this immediate perception of the actions and emotions of others. Marco Iacoboni, Mirroring People, p. 261.

Knowing the family tension that awaited me just inside that door, before I knocked I stood and with some effort shifted my protective angry mask into smile.  The tension shifted in a way I couldn’t understand then but today with the help of Interpersonal Neurobiology, the smile can help us understand how a wrong act towards one’s fellows may involve breaking faith with the Lord.

When a man or woman commits any wrong toward a fellow man, thus breaking faith with the Lord . . . Certainly we shouldn’t act wrongly toward others.  However these words all to easily feed into a childhood emotional response – Don’t do that! – is almost automatically followed by – You’re bad.  Then  only two thorny choices are available, to comply or to rebel.  We can either strive to please the big people or, like some little kids, acquire a little bit of freedom for ourselves by defying them.  These limiting alternatives often overshadow what is actually good within the requested behavior.  But when we shift our attention from the right/wrong aspect to breaking faith with the Lord, a wiser, more useful question emerges – What affect do my thoughts and behaviors have on others?  With a better question, we have better choices.

Each time we see, hear, speak to, or smile at another human, we affect them and in turn they affect us.  We now know how this works in our brains.  Less than two decades ago, in Parma Italy, a scientist accidently triggered the firing of specific neurons in a macaque’s brain simply by reaching his hand for something on the table.  These particular neurons, now called mirror neurons, have been shown to fire when we smile, see someone smile, or even say the word, smile.¹ This means doing a wrong to my fellow is not just ‘my bad’ or bad for that person, but it is bad for anyone around who sees it or hears the tale.  My behavior affects those close to me as well as invisible others as it bounces around our social universe.  Perhaps through a similar linking, it also affects God.

There’s more.  Mirror neurons and other brain networks go far beyond imitation and mimicry.  When asked the same general knowledge questions, one groups of college students outscored the other group.  The only difference was that the higher scoring group had been told to think of and write down the qualities of college professors while the other group thought and wrote about the qualities of soccer hooligans.  “Conclusion: just thinking about college professors makes you smarter, whereas thinking about soccer hooligans makes you dumber!”² What do you suppose would happen if we shifted our thoughts from  college professors to God?

This also works for good. “The Lord bless and protect you!  The Lord deal kindly and graciously with you!  The Lord bestow His favor upon you and grant you peace!” Numbers 6:24-26 Spoken by the priests, this special blessing had the effect of linking the Israelite people and God. Thus [the priests] shall link My name with the people of Israel, and I will bless them. Just words, perhaps, but now we understand that mirror neurons in each of our brains create an invisible linking between us so that our speaking affects others and they affect us, for harm or for good. It is wise then to consider that our words and actions may also reach beyond?

1. Iacoboni, Marco, Mirroring People 2008, p. 11-12.
2. Ibid., 201.

Quotes from the Five Books of Moses are from Etz Hayim, 1999.