From Gerry: How do I know I’m making a right decision?

From Torah: “After two years’ time, Pharaoh dreamed . . . he fell asleep and dreamed a second time . . . Next morning, his spirit was agitated and he sent for all the magicians of Egypt, and all its wise men: and Pharaoh told them his dreams, but none could interpret them for Pharaoh.  The chief cupbearer then spoke up  . . . A Hebrew youth was there with us.  And as he interpreted for us, so it came to pass. . . .”  Genesis 41:1-13

“Thereupon Pharaoh sent for Joseph. .  . He had his hair cut and changed his clothes, and he appeared before pharaoh.  And Pharaoh said to Joseph, “I have had a dream . . . Joseph answered Pharaoh, saying, “Not I!  God will see to Pharaoh’s welfare.”  41:14-16

“And Joseph said to Pharaoh, “Pharaoh’s dreams are one and the same” God has told Pharaoh what He is about to do.”. . .  “You [Joseph] shall be in charge of my court . . ..” 41:40

“So all the world came to Joseph in Egypt . . ..”  41:57

The news can be scary.  Given what’s going on, do I buy or sell, connect or disconnect, stay or leave?  Mostly I am pleased with my decisions, both personal and financial, but there a few I truly regret.  Looking back, it’s obvious what I should have done but there’s no way to know then what the future holds. “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward,” said Soren Kierkegaard.  To improve my percentages, two Pharaohs have much to teach me.

After two years’ time, Pharaoh dreamed.  Two years pass, Joseph waiting in jail, while Pharaoh and Egypt sail along as usual unaware of disaster looming.  Most times, I live like this, believing things will continue as they are, dwelling in the reassurance of routines.  But then there arises a clue, a hint.  It most often it enters my awareness as a vague discomfort.  The news may blare concerns of the sky falling (holes in the ozone) or political chaos or economic disaster (we seem to be in a time that is bleaker than ususal) but these hints and clues sneak up quietly from behind.  So do I direct my attention to the blaring crises or a vague unease?

Pharaoh dreamed . . . he fell asleep and dreamed a second time. Dreams and other messages from beyond my conscious awareness are often not noticed, nor remembered or given credence.  Writing my dreams is successful only infrequently.  The book and pen wait beside the bed but the dreams vanish by the time I go to write.  Pharaoh’s dream apparently caught his attention.  And if he missed the first message, it was repeated for emphasis.

he sent for all the magicians of Egypt, and all its wise men: and Pharaoh told them his dreams, but none could interpret them for Pharaoh. Once we notice, help is needed.  Pharaoh’s standard sources, his magicians and wise men, failed him.  Not everything is listed in Wikipedia. Once we become aware of a problem, asking for help is an important step, but from whom?  Professional advisors make more money than fortunetellers, perhaps because they limit themselves to possibilities and patterns.  They don’t say what will work for me, and they cover themselves with liability limiting legalities.  So, like Pharaoh, we get advice from people who live within the standard norms of our society.  But the dreams and vague discomforts come from beyond those norms.

The chief cupbearer then spoke up  . . . A Hebrew youth was there with us Enter memory and prior promises.  The cupbearer remembers and brings Joseph to Pharaoh’s attention.  A long shot but what’s the harm in going out on the fringes when the tried and true haven’t work?  One question is how I get myself beyond the norms without falling off the loony edge.   When Pharaoh took a long shot, it was based on the cupbearer’s experience and on the promise to remember Joseph, which, of course, he promptly forgot when things went well for him.  Clues may dwell in what we’ve forgotten to remember, in moments when connections were clearer and were closer to the source.  That’s why dreams and my ‘strange moments’ are so important, holding keys to deeper experiences than my conscious mind can handle.

Thereupon Pharaoh sent for Joseph . .  . He had his hair cut and changed his clothes, and he appeared before pharaoh.  And Pharaoh said to Joseph, “I have had a dream . . . For Joseph to appear before Pharaoh, no matter how good his dream interpreting skills, he had to be made presentable.  Changing clothes and cutting hair removed his jail appearance and created a court appearance for him.  Even when a dream is right on, it may have to be retold or written down so our conscious mind can get it.  Someone else’s perspective helps us focus our own.  Appearances affect whether we accept or reject a new idea.  With clients, I go to great pains to couch a new idea in terms of their prior experiences.  Otherwise I risk being right on target but blocked by their conscious defenses.

Joseph answered Pharaoh, saying, “Not I!  God will see to Pharaoh’s welfare Joseph, after having jumped all the necessary hurdles and standing before Pharaoh, quickly gets himself out of the way.  G-d, not I, will interpret your dreams.  In human communications, this is called disqualification.  The words are coming out of my mouth but they’re really not mine.  Such disqualification can cause craziness if used maliciously or can be used in the service of healing.  How often have we heard, ‘Research proves . .  .’  And I am impressed with this Joseph, who is able to see beyond himself to the source of his skill, and how different he is from the 17 year old who flaunted his dreams to the consternation of his brothers and father.

On a higher level, G-d’s messages to us may be hard to identify and decipher.  During one marvelous study session, our group decided that G-d was in the very wrestling we were doing as well as in the effects the conversation had on our daily actions.  We all agreed and I hope it is so.  It’s hard to know.  It felt right.

And Joseph said to Pharaoh, “Pharaoh’s dreams are one and the same” God has told Pharaoh what He is about to do. . . .  You [Joseph] shall be in charge of my court . . .  So all the world came to Joseph in Egypt . . .. Finding a singular truth in all that bombards me, internally and externally, is quite a challenge.  Yet that is what Joseph told Pharaoh.  Here is the map of G-d’s plan.  And Pharaoh got that Joseph was speaking from a place of knowing, a place of faith.  How he did is open to speculation.  Possibly he also was able to step back, to defuse his ego and allow something bigger to speak to him.  The result was putting Joseph in charge.  After seven years of public planning and centralized government action Egypt was prepared to withstand the famine.  And it was successful.  The whole world came to Joseph. Results!  Wow.  Couldn’t ask for more.  Seems so simple looking back, knowing the outcome.  But in the moment I decide to act, whether financial or personal, I do not know the outcome.  Uncertainty is necessary.

Now consider what we can learn from the later Pharaoh.  ‘A new king rose over Egypt who did not know Joseph.  And he said to his people, “Look, the Israelite people are much too numerous for us.  Let us deal shrewdly with them, so that they may not increase; otherwise in the event of war they may join our enemies in fighting against us and rise form the ground.” Exodus 1:8-10   If the ingredients of Pharaoh and Joseph’s successful decisions included discomfort, attention, getting help, memory and prior promises, a bit of clean up, getting the ego self out of the way, all leading to action, there is no evidence of any of these earlier ingredients in this king’s decision making. His sole guide is fear!  Familiar to me as the news plays in the background, fear focuses on self, on protection and on diminishing ‘other’. In the guise of protecting his own people against ‘others’, repression is this king’s tool.  Uncertainty is not even hinted.  This Pharaoh knows!  How often have I thought I knew, only to find out in a later conversation that I missed a major piece of information?  It happened two weeks ago between Linda and me.

A question has seeped into me from Linda’s training as a Spiritual Director. ‘Where is G-d in this?’  The tale of two Pharaohs helps me find G-d in making decisions.

Another Way for Our Right Brain:

“If you don’t know you don’t know, you think you know.

If you don’t know you know, you think you don’t know.”

R. D. Laing,  Knots

WRESTLINGS:

From Below, For Above: Made any mistakes lately?  Big ones? Small ones?  What’s the worst decision you’ve made?  The best?

For You – and your body: When you are deciding, in the moments of uncertainty, what do you notice in your body?  Where?  Does it have ancient roots?

For You – and your story: What stories do you use to evaluate your actions?  What are their origins, childhood or later?  What do you say to yourself when the outcome is ‘good’?  When it’s ‘not so good’?